hit me with your best shot .

Monday, June 22, 2009,10:50 pm

guolong, happy birthday!(:
THEY'RE NOT CLOSING SCHOOOOOOLS! ):
the health minister just became the no. 1 hated person in singapore !! hahaha.
but honestly, there was no neeed to close i think.
it was just hope on our part that our exams would be postponed.
who doesnt want extended holidays right?

don't really know what i was doing today.
woke up, watched tv. took a nap.
studied for like one hour, watched some more tv.
went swimming.
just came back and is playing com and eating durians with my family. haha.
i promise, im going to study TONIGHT!
tonight! haha,
since they're not extending the holidays, guess got to mug.
*sigh.
but i don't feel it in me. hahaha!

anyway, just to side track for awhile, lalala.
i've found a few things i want to fulfill in this lifetime!
so i shall make a list which will continue to expand! :DD
.
.

1. see a goldfish burp!
2. spend time overseas with my friends.
3. see with my own eyes that an elephant can't jump (i'm not convinced)
4. learn the drums
5. learn guitar
6. get into uni without trouble
7. volunteer at the rehab centre/childcare regularly.
8. sit the singapore flyer.
9. sit a cruise ( though im so freaking scared after watching titanic and poseiden )
10. finish reading the bible 3 times.
11. Matthew 25:23 at the end of this race.
12. enjoy sports all my life(:

Sunday, June 21, 2009,11:59 pm

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YONGXING!
& HAPPY LAOPEI DAY TO TIMOTHY(:

back from D.E.O camp(: (: (:
ohmytian, i was really tired when i came back last night that i totally KO-ed.
and woke up at 4:30pm today! haha.
i can't believe i almost didnt go for this camp man!
it was really really really awesome.
people like choongkai, darryl, jieru all planned the camp so well
and not a single person left the camp un-impacted and un-changed im sure.
so sure.

from running around Sentosa with zhilin, venus and the rest of the KAZHUA team.
( yes our team's name was kazhua -.-" )
playing games with D5 and others.
from staying up all night with shipei, eloise they all.
to watching my sister grow with the services.
to receiving from God myself after Dom's preaching.
listening and being touched when Pf was sharing about her family
and the talks with people like qianqian and zhenghui.
to finally meeting up with ryan yap again after about half a year.
being inspired by Pastor Troy Marshall and Pastor Vince over and over, because of the simpliest things.
unlocking ever more mysteries about God as i prayed and prayed and prayed, and waited.
even to the points of desperation and tears.
and to finally giving my faith pledge on saturday - that seriously took me alot of faith.
cos who knows how im going to fulfill it man. haha.

and so so so so many more things!
but im really too tired to think and look back now :x

with this fresh word from God, i'm going to continue running with the newly revealed path! (:
i don't know where its going to go, but i'm going to continue running nonetheless.

honestly, before this camp.
i was so close to giving up.
to just throwing down my hopes and prayers and walking away from this part of my life.
all the months of praying and hoping, breaking down and pleading. and nothing happened.
i'm so glad i didn't give it up.
you know, you really never know how near you were to seeing God's promises fulfilled, and your own prayers answered,
if you had just walked away and given up.
it could have just been so close. that close.

this doesnt just apply to spiritual stuff.
every part of life that's worth the effort tooo i guess(:
because things that are worth the wait, worth the fight.
often require just that - waiting and fighting.

after service last night, had to chiong down to celebrate my mum's birthday!
we went to westmall to eat Sakae.
and my family said grace together got the first time man!
had great talks with my siblings, and i feel a new season is coming(:
i feel we're becoming more open with each other.
yay(:

today, my family just ate cake and watched movies on tv for father's day(:
actually, they're still watching now, haha!
.
"write the vision and make it plain on tablets,
That he may run who reads it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Thought it tarries wait for it; Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry."
- Habakkuk 2:2-3

also, my laopei told me something today that made me the happiest daughter ever man! (:
gosh, i neeeed to study.
close school, close school, close school before mye please.
i spent the whole night faceboooking when i had the econs book right beside me.
AAAAAAAAAAAH):

Thursday, June 11, 2009,5:02 pm

this morning was my first first first time going for powerhouse.

i was so so so so afraid that i would oversleeep as usual.

esp because i slept only bout 2plus last night.

and i need a solid 10 hours haha!

so its quite good that i'm now staying with my cousins at eunos, only 15mins to church! yay(:

this morning my family was leaving for malaysia.

have you ever had the feeling that you might lose your family just like that?

(or something very very dear to you)

so fragile, so unpredictable. so NOT in your hands.

as i was walking to church, this very urgency started to overwhelm me.

so i decided to give them one last call.

i don't know why, but i started to cry - alot.

the people i walked past must have thought i was crazy. haha!

when i heard my sis' voice, and my mum.

i started to cry even more.

i felt this terrible vulnerability, a horrible fear of the fear of loss.

when i put down the phone.

i said a silent desperate prayer. wiped my tears and CHIONG-ED for powerhouse.

i'm so glad i went for it!

Pastor Tan Ye Peng is someone i really really admire and respect.

he shared about 2 Corinthians and John about seeing.

it is so so so so true.

everyone lives by the "i've got to see it to believe it"

which unfortunately is why many dont see the truth in christianity - which leans on faith.

i've personally have heard it so many times.

friends telling me "i'll believe it when i have proof, evidence"

or "why doesnt He reveal Himself to me?"

that's just it.

thats just the thing about christianity.

much of the time, we have to take the first step.

be the ones to seek, instead of expecting to be sought.

and much of the time, it involves a test of waiting.

but you know, what will be revealed will blow your mind away.

after that, everything else is just secondary.

we only have one life,

and its a struggle as to what and how you define and direct your life.

it can be the easiest and yet the hardest thing.

but, when you know the Truth's the truth deep down in your guts.
you know you'll always come back to it.

i believe its not just a feeling, but a choice.

life's way too big to just see with your natural eyes.

while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

-2 Corinthians 4:18

what God chooses to reveal to us will determine how our lives are changed.

Mary waited just a little longer than the disciples

and she saw the linens, the handkerchief and two angels.

but she didn't recognise Jesus even as He was right in front of her.

can you imagine us?

Sunday, June 07, 2009,11:59 pm

this officially marks the end of my slack weeek ): haha.
the only studying, or thinking of studying i honestly did this whole weeeek.
was yesterday when impromptu study with azureen.
and only for about 3 hours. haha!
): ): ): ):
i've yet to plan out a study timetable. hahaha!
i really hope i dont screw up this mid years man.

honestly though.
i have no idea whats being tested for geog and lit.
i cant cant cant stand econs.
& maths is just practice practice practice.
*sigh!

BUT! im determined to at least try to put in some effort. hahaahha.

okay. my goal this weeek.
- to put in some serious studying effort.
- to not be to lazy.
- to exercise! play some ball, swim and gym :D

to find out who you are becoming find stories that move your heart.

Just like a seed has an image of the tree in it, so does your heart have an image of who you are becoming. Look for stories in movies and books that resonate in your heart, and you will find glimpses of your possible futures. What is your favorite story?

i love being filled with the joy of the Lord.
i dont know why, i really loved praise and worship today.
okay, besides the fact that Roy's voice is super ohmytian-ness zai.
and the worship team was really great, and i couldnt take my eyes off the drums at first.

when i tap onto God's presence, and even a revelation.
my spirits just fly up and i feel so full of energy, peace, comfort, awe, vulnerability and love.
all at the same time.
and i just felt at that point.
that all my financial, family, friendship and other problems dont sting as much.
they're still there of course, but you can't help but smile with pure pure pure joy.
a promise only God can give.
i love God so so so much, beyond words.

11:29 pm

you know,
i never realised what Mary had to go through.
the 30 years before Jesus' first "official" miracle.
i never really saw her as a significant figure, but now i learnt that her faith was amazing.
i really admire her now!
maybe she didnt travel the world and give great speeches, or perform jaw-dropping miracles.
but people really undermine the essence of sustaining great faith
imagine, 30 over years wondering if your child really is The Saviour.
30 freaking years!
nowadays,
3 days, 3 weeks is even enough for us to drop the towel and give up on God's promised Word.
to just go "aiya, maybe not true luh"
we stagger from faith to doubt so easily!
imagine 30 years!
everyone should go and read the book of John man. HAHAHAHA.
i honestly feel inspired not to give up despite all the poop life has given me.
one more step to a breakthrough! lalala~

okay anyway,
reached church super early today.
mooo and jess came so late ! ): ): ):
fell asleeeeep waiting for them. haha.
drums lesson was really really really really cooool.
i only went for half, but i still learnt quite alot!
can you believe moo really brought chopsticks for me & her?! haha!
jess was laughing at us !

then chiong-ed for boookstore duty.
did the whole duty barefoooted because my shoe BROKE.
it was really fun!
learnt alot!
but people didnt recognise jiahui and i as crew man!
we should go wear tags or get crew shirts D: D: D:

had time to scan through many boooks today.
and i really want to read them.
think i'll steal glances every duty. maybe i'll finish one book in .. 1234 years :D

learnt especially much because followed zhengy as she did her accounts, closing and stuff.
tiring, yet really fulfilling and enlightening.
i love serving in the house of God man!
[ but i really need to familiarise with the books and prices :x ]

ate dinnerr and chiong-ed homeeee.
.
.
.
my dear mo li hua.
cheeer up okay!(:
dont let others push your spirits down.
i know exactly how it feels to get ps-ed and feel like you're crap in others' eyes
dont think too much into it yeah.
you're a really great friend to have!
& you always have me :D :D :D

Wednesday, June 03, 2009,7:29 pm

i think i've experienced an epiphany.

e⋅piph⋅a⋅ny
–noun, plural -nies.
1. a sudden, intuitive perception of or insight into the reality or essential meaning of something, usually initiated by some simple, homely, or commonplace occurrence or experience.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009,10:45 pm

a change in perspective & direction.

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